Reflections on a year and a half of serving Princess Hollie, part 4
On Sunday, December 11th, moc.eillohssecnirp@tulsdeitnap ('Chaste Boot Slut') sent a Beg for Me to notice you petition of:
Reflections on a year and a half of serving Princess Hollie, part 4

One may wonder, in light of my protestations regarding being a sissy, why i am frequently sitting in a lacy thong, dress, and high heels. Part of the answer, of course, is "practice." I do not know what Her Highness plans are for that path, but it behooves me to be practiced. A second part is that it keeps Her in the fore-front of my mind. I cannot forget that they were Her panties, Her dress, and that She commanded that i purchase the heels; wearing them even when She has not directed it makes me feel closer to Her.

Since She allowed me to first send the keys to the cage i wear, my time not in chastity has been less than my time in it. My chastity sentences have become more frequent, as well. She has said that she likes me better when i am locked; i have received many benefits from being locked, and i like myself better when i am this way.

She is always on my mind when She holds the key. Being locked in the Watchful Mistress is constant stimulation -- 24/7 for 30 days at a time, as my chastity sentences have gone since August. Sometimes it is agony, as when it wakes me at night, when i am shopping for Her Highness, and when She is being especially cruel. Other times, it is bliss, such as when She has praised me. But, it is always there, it always impossible to escape the knowledge that steel is locked on and i am at Her mercy; the weight and that slight pressure are a constant reminder.

Being constantly reminded of Her, i strive to better my service to Her. Each time i meet one of Her demands, the cage reminds me of how good it is to serve. I want to meet Her demands quickly so i may receive the pleasure of that reminder, and the pleasure of Her praise; i want more opportunities to serve, because each brings more pleasure and more agony and more of a desire to serve.

She has replaced fantasy with reality, and the reality is very much better.

This is not to say that i only strive to please Her because She holds the key to this constant reminder... that is far from the case. I strive to please Her because she allows and demands it. What i have now is a reality where this divine creature does not hesitate to place a demand on me, where She trusts that i meet it, and where i derive great pleasure from doing so. The pleasure and the agony i receive are lasting, thanks to the cage and the key, and not solely in my imagination as it had been when She because accepting my gifts.
I do like him better when he's locked up. It isn't like he is much use otherwise, except with his wallet.
(Added Monday, December 12th) File under: praise
Reflections on a year and a half of serving Princess Hollie, part 3
On Saturday, December 3rd, moc.eillohssecnirp@tulsdeitnap ('Chaste Boot Slut') sent a Beg for Me to notice you petition of:
Reflections on a year and a half of serving Princess Hollie, part 3

I am not a sissy, neither am i a cross-dresser nor transvestite.

I would rather that Her Highness demand CBT, or floggings, or e-stim torture (i would love love love a network-enabled shock collar so She could inflict suffering from anywhere with a touch of Her manicured finger) -- corporal punishment to help cleanse my sins and expunge my daemons. Sensory deprivation, hours kneeling on rice, weekends bound or in a cage, CEI (when i'm not locked in chastity), dark humiliation... these are the thoughts that fill my mind, the drink for which i thirst. Not pretty dresses and silky panties, lipstick and nail polish.

Her Highness, though, seems to enjoy my sissification. The panties She has given me, the dresses she bids me wear, the heels... when She has been blue, She has demanded a fashion show; how can i refuse that which brings a smile to Her lips? Let's be honest, any attention not born of wrath from Her Highness is welcome attention.

As time has passed and She grown more comfortable in Her dominance, i have learned to better accept Her will and whims. This is not about me or my pleasure, but Her. I would flatter myself and say that i have made Her more confident in Her superiority, but i think the truth is more that She was already confident, and i have just gained Her trust enough to be allowed to see it.

There is a dance to the building of trust. I started with tentative offerings -- both monetary and emotionally -- and She rewarded me with glimpses of Her wicked genius. That, in turn, drew me deeper and allowed me to show more trust in Her. Wearing panties for Her is a step in that dance; it was a step that led to a more secured place, where She could be more confident that i would do as directed. It was a step that lead to long-term chastity, with an emergency key at hand, and regular demands from Her for little things like lunch. Painting my nails for Her, likewise.

I see each humiliation as another test of my faithfulness, and each successful completion as a testament to Her glory. When i wear Her panties over Her chastity cage (for which She holds all the keys... another step), under Her dress, and perched on Her high-heels, i am in a state of bliss, for i am proving my devotion, and She has proven Her confidence in me.
Someone should protest less and practice walking in his heels more.
(Added Monday, December 5th) File under: praise
Reflections on a year and a half of serving Princess Hollie, part 2
On Monday, November 14th, moc.eillohssecnirp@tulsdeitnap ('Chaste Boot Slut') sent a Beg for Me to notice you petition of:
Reflections on a year and a half of serving Princess Hollie, part 2

That month with Her holding the key to my cage was possibly the best in my life. There were terms, of course: in take, return, and weekly holding fees were written. Implied was that i would aim to please Her in all ways. She held the key over me, thankfully. She made demands, and i strove to meet them. I made no secret of how much i adored what She did.

When She returned the key, i was afraid that it was a one-time experiment, that She did not care for the weight of the responsibility. It seemed a miracle, then, when She again accepted the key a month later, demanding that a punishment spike also be locked in for the duration of my sentence. Her demands and confidence both seemed to grow, though my adoration of Her may color those memories.

I was unlocked, but even more devoted to Her through the summer. If it was at all possible, i catered to Her slightest whim. I gave Her regular reminders of how wonderful She was, and how i adored Her.

In September, She again accepted the key to my cage, for a sentence of thirty nights. I thought of Her day and night, marveling constantly at Her divinity and power... and at Her cruelty, for She took to assigning humiliation tasks to me. How i quiver when She is cruel and humiliates; how i delight in Her attentions; how my desire to please Her grows with each taunt.

My locked September is also when Her Highness began dressing me in dresses and lingerie. I believe that She would have made me pay for the privilege, if not for the fact that She already was demanding everything i had to offer. As with making me a pantied sissy, putting me dresses seems to bring Her great pleasure.

Her Highness informed me that She wished to travel in October, and it was my great privilege to pay for Her, even as She made it clear that i was to let Her be on that retreat. She returned with joy, and i was even more deeply ensnared.

She also told me that She was having another girl's weekend in November, and commanded that i be locked and that i send Her the key. She made it a command, not a request, not a suggestion; my Princess has, i believe, embraced ownership. Additionally, She demanded that i pay for all off the girls' weekend: airfare for both Her friend and Herself, lodging, shopping, meals. She was to enjoy Herself, and i was to suffer and thank Her for the privilege.

Thank Her i did and do. Suffering for Her makes me complete; serving Her Highness is a privilege and delight. Each thought of Her draws another, and focuses me more on Her pleasure.

It is now November. Her girls' weekend has passed. I remain locked at Her pleasure. I would say that i cannot adore Her more than i do, but i would have said that in April, and i adore Her a thousand times more than i did then.
More reflections by My good little sissy.
(Added Tuesday, November 15th) File under: praise
Reflections on a year and a half of serving Princess Hollie, part 1
On Monday, November 14th, moc.eillohssecnirp@tulsdeitnap ('Chaste Boot Slut') sent a Beg for Me to notice you petition of:
Reflections on a year and a half of serving Princess Hollie, part 1

I had been sending gifts to Princess Hollie for years, mostly on standard gift giving occasions. It was not really a friendship, because there must be a degree of equality between friends, and i have never felt close to being Her equal; neither, though, was it a serious domme/sub or even findomme relationship. Mostly, it seemed to me, that She tolerated being called "Princess," receiving the occasional gift, and discussions about Her site. On my side, i appreciated the opportunity to pretend that i was serving someone who deserved and desired to be served, all at a very superficial level. She was never very demanding of either my devotion or my offerings, and i strove to not burden or smother Her with my neediness.

It was a pretty simple arrangement: She would get the occasional pairof boots, and i would get the occasional thrill of the illusion of submitting.

That started to change in August of last year. I don't know what happened, but She started to seem to feel more comfortable making demands and accepting obedience as Her due. Her demands grew more
frequent and larger, and i was only too eager to meet them. She demanded an extravagant Christmas gift, i dug deep to comply, and i nearly burst with pride at the success and Her praise.

Around that time, She started having me wear panties. I had never been "into" panties, but being eager to increase the thrill and go further, i'd dropped a hint; She caught that, and before i knew it i was pantied for Her nearly every day. She is a wonderful humiliatrix, and i feel like She gets enjoyment from keeping me in Her panties; they are now daily wear -- lacy and pink, and mostly, formerly Hers -- and i delight in Her favor.

I think a big shift in power occurred when She was taking a girl's weekend. She had demanded that i pay for Her hotel, which thrilled me. Then She started demanding that i pay for the drinks She was having; each time the phone chirped with a new payment demand, my knees grew weak. The final straw came when She told me they had gone to Victoria's Secret and bought a pair of frilly panties with hearts for me... and they told the sale's clerk exactly who was getting them. That, i think, was the point when out roles were set, when it was clear that She was the Princess and i was a slave for Her to use and abuse.

I did not think that i could have been happier. I was mistaken.

In March, i slipped into a funk related to a problem in Real Life. Despite my devotion to Her, Princess Hollie and i each have our own lives. In mine, my chastity desires were harming mine, because i was not being fulfilled; in fact, i was being shamed -- in a bad way, not in consensual humiliation -- because i ached to practice it. I complained about my troubles to Her, and my fantastic Princess comforted me. Then She said "mail Me the key," which took the troubles out of my hands.
What a lovely petition. This made me smile after a particularly stressful day.
(Added Monday, November 14th) File under: praise
Yet another petition
On Wednesday, March 23rd, an anonymous slut sent a Beg for Me to notice you petition of:
Dearest Princess Hollie, most divine:

You are so amazing and marvelous; i adore You. Each time i believe that You have achieved the pinnacle of perfection, You rise even higher, becoming even more delightful, more demanding, more cruel, more controlling.

Thank You, Your Highness, for allowing me to serve and adore.
You are welcome.
(Added Wednesday, March 23rd) File under: who cares
Panty request
On Wednesday, February 10th, moc.eillohssecnirp@tulsdeitnap ('Your pantied slave') sent a Beg to wear panties petition of:
Dearest Princess Hollie:

Thank You for Your continued brilliance in this drab world.

May i wear my most fancy pair today, with black and pink and lace?
No, bitch, why don't you wait until My package arrives. Then you can wear the pair I bought on My trip.
(Added Wednesday, February 10th) File under: humiliate
Panties
On Tuesday, February 9th, moc.eillohssecnirp@tulsdeitnap ('Your pantied slave') sent a Beg to wear panties petition of:
Dearest Princess Hollie:

You are delightful and fabulous beyond words. Thank You for Your wonderful cruelty and exquisite demands.

May i please have the privilege of wearing pretty panties for You the remainder of the week? Both Amazon and Zappos will deliver today, and i had the pleasure of testing Your cash.me demands, so i have paid the tax in full. Please may i, Your Highness?

Ever deeper under Your spell, i remain

Your devoted servant
Dear slut:

I will allow it. You've earned it, and it pleases Me.
(Added Tuesday, February 9th) File under: who cares
pantied gratitude
On Monday, February 1st, moc.eillohssecnirp@tulsdeitnaP ('Your pantied slut') sent a Beg for additions to My Realm petition of:
Dearest Princess Hollie:

Thank You a thousand times and more for pulling me more deeply under Your control. When I paid Your tax this morning and pulled the pink thong over the Watchful Mistress, I knew that I was as I was meant to be.

Thank You, Your Highness, for molding me into Your little pantied pay slut.
Music to My ears.

You are welcome, you little bitch... so long as you continue to serve.
(Added Monday, February 1st) File under: who cares
Panties followup
On Thursday, January 28th, moc.eillohssecnirp@tulsdeitnap ('Your pantied slave') sent a Beg to wear panties petition of:
Dearest Princess Hollie:

Thank You for correcting me. I apologize for sending an insufficient tax payment, and hope that i have corrected that.

Please, Princess, may i wear panties for You today?
That is much better. Yes, you may.
(Added Monday, February 1st) File under: who cares
Panties
On Thursday, January 28th, moc.eillohssecnirp@tulsdeitnap ('Your pantied slave') sent a Beg to wear panties petition of:
Dearest Princess Hollie:

Thank You for the many ways You give meaning to life. You are so very magnificent.

If it pleases You, may i please wear something lacy and pink to further focus my thoughts on You and Your service today?

Thank You for Your consideration, for teaching me humiliation, and for being so wonderful.
This is lacking adequate taxes - I've half a mind to charge you for carelessness as well, but that's just because I'm in a good mood.
(Added Monday, February 1st) File under: humiliate
Panties and My mercy
On Tuesday, January 26th, an anonymous slut sent a Beg to wear panties petition of:
Dearest Princess Hollie:

You are so fabulous, so worshipful, so amazing; thank You.

Today is washing day, which poses a dilemma i beg You to resolve: i either get to wear the special black and pink Victoria's Secret panties or i will be unable to amuse You with pantied humiliation. Which path shall i take?

Thank You for Your guidance, most divine Highness.
Black.

This reminds Me I've yet to go to the post office. More humiliation will arrive once I do.
(Added Tuesday, January 26th) File under: who cares
adoration
On Friday, January 22nd, an anonymous slut sent a Beg for additions to My Realm petition of:
Dearest Princess Hollie:

You are water for the desert, sun for the arctic; magnificent and marvelous. Thank You.

Would You consider adding a petition just for adoration?
Well, why not?

I'll set the web slave on it.
(Added Friday, January 22nd) File under: who cares
Whiny, needy bitches
On Tuesday, January 19th, an anonymous slut sent a Beg for Me to notice you petition of:
Dearest Princess Hollie:

Thank You for being such a delight, so marvelous and divine!

Thank You for the opportunity to adore and serve You.

Thank You for every crumb of attention, every capricious demand, every impossible task, every cruelty, every humiliation, every word of praise, every gift of You.

Thank You, and thank You again.

Please rescue me from the purgatory that is a day without word of You.
Slut:

The last offering I received from you was Friday, and I graciously acknowledged it. I even granted the privilege of wearing panties as a reward. Are you wearing them now, you little sissy, staining them as you think about Me? Fucking good.

I have My life, and My pleasures and concerns are much more important than rescuing some panty-wearing humiliation slut from his insignificance... especially when he can't be bothered to make a decent fucking offering. Where is My Minkoff bag, the replacement of the lost Chacos, or My Kate Spade yoga collection?

No, you can either redeem yourself or go fuck yourself.
(Added Tuesday, January 19th) File under: humiliate
Travel and panties
On Friday, January 15th, an anonymous slut sent a Beg to wear panties petition of:
Dearest Princess Hollie:

Thank You for allowing me to serve You. You are more wonderful than words allow, and i thank You for allowing me to try to prove it to You.

I have booked two nights at the Westin for Your coming vacation. May i please have the privilege of wearing panties as a focus for You for the next week?
You've been good this week; you may.
(Added Friday, January 15th) File under: praise
Another panty petition
On Thursday, January 14th, an anonymous slut sent a Beg to wear panties petition of:
Dearest Princess Hollie:

Thank You for Your endless inspiration, Your cruelty, and Your mercy in sharing it with me.

I hope that the offering from Your shopping list is sufficient thanks to warrant a day of humiliation in a lacy pink thong. Please, most worshipful Princess, may i so be reminded of and focused on You?
Very well. :)
(Added Thursday, January 14th) File under: who cares
Panty tax advice
On Wednesday, January 13th, an anonymous slut sent a Beg to wear panties petition of:
Dear most wonderful Princess Hollie:

You are radiant and divine; thank You for granting the privilege of adoring You.

I have paid Your panty tax, eagerly, for the humiliation You allow and demand helps focus my mind most clearly on You. What color would please You today?

Thank You for this favor and opportunity to fall more deeply under Your control.
Here's what I think: originally I'd said that you could indulge if a proper tribute had been made - so I think that if you are going to take the tax route, you should pay a week at a time, to avoid waiting on My approval every day.

Silly slut.
(Added Wednesday, January 13th) File under: who cares
panty
On Tuesday, January 12th, an anonymous slut sent a Beg to wear panties petition of:
Most magnificent Princess Hollie:

May i please wear pretty pretty panties today, to carry a constant blush for You?
I suppose you may.
(Added Tuesday, January 12th) File under: who cares
Panties
On Monday, January 11th, an anonymous slut sent a Beg to wear panties petition of:
Dearest Princess Hollie:

You are the light that makes each day worth living.

Thank You for allowing me to wear a reminder of You yesterday.

Please, Princess, may i wear panties to focus my mind on You again today? Please may i have that humiliation?
Please do.
(Added Monday, January 11th) File under: who cares
Panties
On Friday, January 8th, an anonymous slut sent a Beg to wear panties petition of:
Dearest Princess Hollie:

You continue to rule my thoughts with Your wonderful wickedness. You are a gift from the universe, a standard to which no other can compare.

Please, Highness, may i wear panties today to help focus my mind? Please, will You grant this, to remind me of my place beneath You, and deflate my ego?
Enjoy. :)
(Added Friday, January 8th) File under: who cares
Panties
On Thursday, January 7th, an anonymous slut sent a Beg to wear panties petition of:
Dearest Princess Hollie:

Thank You for being so delight, inspirational, and deliciously cruel. It is a great privilege to be allowed to serve You.

Please, most diviner Princess, may i have the privilege of wearing pretty panties today?
I suppose you may.
(Added Thursday, January 7th) File under: who cares
Panties
On Wednesday, January 6th, an anonymous slut sent a Beg to wear panties petition of:
Most divine Princess Hollie:

May i please wear panties for You today? Please?

Please do.
(Added Wednesday, January 6th) File under: who cares
Panties
On Tuesday, January 5th, an anonymous slut sent a Beg to wear panties petition of:
Dearest Princess Hollie:

May i please wear something lacy today, that my mind may better focus on You? Please may i be Your pantied slut today?

Please, will You dictate the color to be worn?

You are so fantastic and wonderful. Thank You for Your consideration.
Please do. Pink is the color of the day.
(Added Tuesday, January 5th) File under: who cares
Good slave
On Monday, November 9th, an anonymous slut sent a Beg for Me to notice you petition of:
Dearest Princess Hollie:

Thank You for being a the siren's song, luring us to crash broken at Your feet, begging to give You more even when we have nothing.

Please accept my offering, insignificant in Your glory though it may be, as a token and a pledge.

This is how one responds to My demand for new Uggs. Well done.
(Added Saturday, January 2nd) File under: praise
An example of a good petition
On Saturday, August 30th, an anonymous slut sent a Beg for additions to My Realm petition of:
Dearest Princess Hollie:

This is, i believe, the proper way for me to initiate discussions regarding Your site, don't You agree? It is like paying the petition fee for the privilege of working for You.

There is a flaw in this plan, though: until this morning, i have no copies of the petitions, so my checklists from yesterday are only in Your hands. Would You mind forwarding them back to me?

I will add something to the administration pages to review petitions. Who knows: maybe You will want to add a page to the site to share the best/worst petitions with Your admirers.

I have verified that all of Your PayPal buttons block a person who cancels the payment. I still haven't tracked down why payments don't get recorded, but i don't think that is much of a concern (if You really decide to make a run at this industry, You will want to find another payment processor, because PayPal has a record of closing accounts.)

I happened upon http://www.vice.com/read/financial-domination-is-a-very-expensive-fetish and http://financialdominationguide.blogspot.com/ while doing research for Your site today. I think both of those provide good information.

Something from Zappos for Your September 1st birthday, or another month of yoga?

Thank You for Your consideration.
This is an example of a well-written petition.

Notice how it opens with a respectful salutation, acknowledges that the supplicant rightfully makes an offering, reports how the supplicant has served Me, and thanks Me at the closing. Asking for suggestions for My birthday is a nice touch.

The only real problem with this is that it is slightly too familiar, but I won't fine that because it did, after all, come from My web slut.


Your Princess
(Added Monday, September 22nd) File under: who cares